Updated Summary

This blogpost is going to be about the process of updating my summary of THE CRISIS OF CREDIT VISUALIZED. First I’ll show you my original version including Henry’s corrections and after that you can read the updated summary. At the end I’ll explain my mistakes and the process of correcting them.

Here’s the before version of my summary of THE CRISIS OF CREDIT VISUALIZED.

And here the (hopefully) improved version

The video The Crisis of Credit Visualized directed by Jonathan Jarvis visualizes the incipience of the credit crisis in the 2000’s. After the dot.com crash and 9/11 the US Federal Reserve lowered their interest rates to maintain the country’s stability, forcing investors to look for alternatives to invest. However, banks delightedly borrowed money and surpluses allowing them to carry out profitable deals which gained the attention of investors.

 Consequently, Wall Street bankers connected homeowners with mortgages to the investors through buying their mortgages from the lender. Bankers resold them to investors in forms of CDOs which are divided into the AAA, the BBB and the unrated tranche. Investment bankers sold these tranches to investors, bankers and hedge funds as long as money from homeowners paying their mortgages was streaming in.

Seeking more money, bankers introduced sub-prime mortgages which were approved for families less reliable and not being able to set a down payment. This caused numerous homeowners to default on their mortgages, leading to the investment bankers acquiring their houses. The houses dropped in value causing an increasing number of families to leave their homes and the incoming stream of money to stop.

Resulting, investors stopped buying CDO tranches thus bankers were no longer able to pay back their credits. Subsequently, the entire financial system was frozen and homeowners, lenders, investment bankers and investors went bankrupt.

 

Well, as you can see I made various mistakes in my summary including some really unnecessary ones. As the proofreading mistakes such as “increasingly number of” are concerned I’m pretty mad at myself because even after reading it 5 times I never caught that mistake. Next time I will definitely apply the new proofreading strategy Henry told me about during the office hour which is following: You look at your old English texts searching for commonly made mistakes and write them down. If you particularly have problems with, let’s say adverbs, you proofread your finished text just for adverbs and then repeat that again by looking for correct use of tenses for example.
My summary was also too long which forced me to condense or delete several unnecessary words and sentences.  I found it especially difficult to condense the sentences but still keep the important parts in it.
I highlighted the corrected mistakes and I hope the updated summary is of higher quality now.